One Man’s Journey......A facebook.com Perspective

Cindy Lou's January 2012 Newsletter

2012-01-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

Love, Love and Love Some More

2011-09-24T12:19:00.000-07:00

Why are you here? This is a question most of us think we already know? I’m here to raise my kids, pay my bills, plan for the future and love God….Right? Let’s think about this a little more for a minute. Yes it is true that God wants me to do all the things I listed but is there more? Is that all God expects from me? In Matt 10:35-40 we read: 35 For I came to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 A person's enemies will be members of his own family. 37 "The one who loves his father or mother more than me isn't worthy of me, and the one who loves a son or daughter more than me isn't worthy of me. 38 The one who doesn't take up his cross and follow me isn't worthy of me. 39 The one who finds his life will lose it, and the one who loses his life because of me will find it." 40 "The one who receives you receives me, and the one who receives me receives the one who sent me.
Christ makes it very clear that we are to love him and the father, God more than our own parents, children, career, house, car you name it he makes it clear that even our most personal relationships and possessions are second to him. This even tells us that this love will cause strife in our relationships.
Now back to my original question. What’s your reason for being here? Many of us including myself are content just achieving the basics each day, like working, taking care of my children’s extra activities, getting supper ready each night, cleaning my house and maybe..just maybe studying my Bible on occasion. Its true life is so busy and filled with stress, sometimes some drama and defiantly unexpected twist, turns and detours. At some point each of us has to make a decision. That decision could be to continue what seems at the time to be the easiest and most normal path. But what if we tried to change how we are looking at our lives? What if we still made sure we took care of what is important to each of us here on earth, but also made sure what we used 100% of the talents God gave us? What if our weekly journey to and from soccer practice or the grocery store included dropping off a plate of food for a shut-in or included picking up extra supplies for a charity we felt a strong passion for? What if we stepped up to lead a prayer before our children’s soccer, basketball or softball game started? What if we took it upon ourselves to start a collection of clothes, food, or money for a cause that we feel a true calling to help? What if by doing this you were presented opportunities to reach out to help others and possibly even share Christ with a complete stranger? What if that stranger saw Christ’s love through you? ……What if? In Matt 25:35-36 we read: 35 For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat. I was thirsty, and you gave me something to drink. I was a stranger, and you welcomed me. 36 I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you took care of me. I was in prison, and you visited me.
Our lives are made up of happiness, hurt, decisions, regrets and opportunities. I pray you look for and embrace the opportunities that God has put in your life. We don’t have to be rich, educated or experienced. All God has asks us is to do is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and if that doesn’t seem to be working LOVE some more! Will it be easy? Is life easy? No but God and Christ never said it would be. What Christ did say was feed my sheep. (John 21:17)
Keep your eye's open for the next opportunity to come along. Chances are you already know someone or some cause that needs your one and only God given talent. Oh and don’t kid yourself we all have a talent. Mine might be different from yours but you and I still have a talent. Don’t waste it in thoughts of "I'll do it one of these days". USE IT NOW! Embrace it; God gave it to you and you only!
Peace
Mark

"And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." I Cor 13 :13

2011-08-30T12:41:00.000-07:00

What comes to your mind when you think of "LOVE"? Is it a look, a kiss, or maybe a feeling you have when things seem right. For each of use love can mean different things. Chances are we have all felt it in some way. It's almost a given that we have all received love in some shape form or fashion in our lives. Some more and some less than others. What you might see as love I might think only as a mere event that ac-cured. For all of us love is a state of mind in which each person receives what they might need at any given moment. My question for you today is with life's busy structure how do you show others love? I'm not necessarily talking about your family or spouse but the world in general? How do you show the world love? I have found that it really doesn't take much. Maybe a smile a friendly hand shack or even a word or encouragement is all it takes. On the other hand maybe it can take more time and maybe even money at times but ultimately love can be shown through simple actions. I have had many great examples of love in my life. Some have been great men and women of faith who showed their love with simple gestures like passing out candy to children and some have been examples of men and women who literally gave everything they had to show love. I believe God wants us to show love in any way we feel comfortable or moved by the spirit to do. Just how amazing would it be if all of us did that on a regular basis in a big or small way? I pray each of us finds a reason for showing love...unconditional love to as many people as possible today and every day. All you have to do is open your eyes and look around you. The opportunities are everywhere.
Have a great and blessed love filled day!
Peace
Mark

From Suffering to Glory

2011-08-12T09:27:00.000-07:00

My question for each of you and myself today is do you believe in Heaven? Do you have hope? Do you believe that after the good times, bad times, and trials of this life our father in heaven and his son Christ Jesus has prepared for you a place to rest in the glory of God the father? I do... We are told by the apostle Paul in Romans to eagerly look forward with hope, knowing that we have to promise of this glory that awaits those in Christ. Is this a promise of an easy life without pain, suffering or trials? Not at all, in fact scripture tells us that when we give our lives to Christ we can even expect more trials to come upon us. We are even told again by Paul in Philippians 1:21 - For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Which is his way of saying I look forward to the trials that will come to me if they benefit Christ and bring me to him sooner with death. This is a strong statement some might even consider it suicidal in thought but it's not. When we have a passion like love for a spouse, child or a friend that passion takes us to the next step of unconditional love which also leads to the statement "I would give my life for you." Do you have that passion in your life? Would you give your life for your spouse, child or a friend? How about a total stranger? How about God and Christ? Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking anyone to put themselves in harms way just for the sake of death but I am saying LOVE each other as if life depended on it. I have included Romans 8:18-30 below where Paul tells us that our suffering and pain in Christs name is nothing compared to what God and Christ have prepared for us for eternity. I pray each of you takes comfort in his inspired words and that it helps each of us to strengthen our relationships and our personal relationship with God.

NKJV Romans 8:18-30
18For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. 19For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. 20For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; 21because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. 22For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. 23Not only that, but we also who have the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. 24For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? 25But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.
26Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us F25 with groanings which cannot be uttered. 27Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
28And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

Peace
Mark

What a difference a weekend can make..

2011-08-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

As I posted last week I went on a men's retreat to relax and unwind a little. It was exactly what I needed! The fellowship and the beauty that surrounded me was awesome! I have been dealing with the normal business stuff and raising my girls but also some personal decisions that I have had to come to terms with lately.
I know what Cindy wanted for me. She wanted me to live life and be happy and move on when the time was right. After much prayer, counseling and advice from many great friends I know now that it's time to start a new chapter. This weekend I was able to spend quality time for me and honestly it felt wonderful! It helped me realize that my need for a companion and helpmate is not selfish or self centered but what I my family and even my girls want for me, and most of all what God wants for me.
God has already set me on a path that amazes me! Just like everything else that has happened in my life I can say that God's hand is at work in my life giving me directing, focus and opportunity. I have stated many times in the past how much I believe that if we just open our eyes we all can see God at work in our lives. From bills being paid to careers to relationships. Sometimes that path might not seem clear and sometimes it's very clear but still ends with disappointment and heartbreak but in the end can we see God at work. I think even when the outcome is not what we hoped for or even imagined we can still see God's will revealed if our eyes are opened and we allow our hearts to open. I know I have much love to share with some special person that God will put in my life. For that matter they might already be in my life. God has a way of doing that. That is,

making the unexpected reality.
I pray each of you open your heart to what possibilities God might have in store for you. From experience I can say that change can be hard but I have also learned that if we trust God and lean on him through change he will see us through.
Peace
Mark

What does it take for you to relax?

2011-08-05T16:22:00.000-07:00

So later tonight I'm leaving for a church Mens Retreat in beautiful Jamestown TN. I am really looking forward to this trip even though I can only stay one night. I have been to several retreats and the view from the lodge we stay at is incredible! I can't wait to see tomorrows sunrise from the lodge. It truly is a God moment for me every time I see it! I have been trying all day to get myself mentally ready to relax and try to take it all in. I don't know about you but sometimes it takes work to relax. It takes a commitment to myself to let the worries and world stuff go and just relax and enjoy the moment. I pray each of you takes the time to do the same in your life. Each of us deserves time for ourselves which in turn makes us better, parents, caregivers and friends.
Have a great weekend!
Mark

What motivates you?

2011-08-04T12:01:00.000-07:00

I think this can be a different answer for each one of us. What keeps me going might be similar to what keeps you going but it probably involves many different motivations, references or people for each of us. I know that when I was younger my motivating factors were very very different than they are today. Not that they weren't as important back then but they have definitely changed through the years. Back then my life was build around my self image and what others thought about me. Not that that doesn't matter now but we all hopefully come to a place in our lives where we accept who we are and use the talents God gave us in a positive way realizing that my talents are not judged based on your talents but based on how I use my talents. Where I am now in my life, spiritual maturity and responsibilities is completely different than back then, and that is good. That means I have hopefully moved beyond my spiritual immaturity and grow and become closer to God and for that matter mankind.
Here is where I'm trying to go with this. What motivates me to live life, praise God and love others does not have to be your motivation. But you hopefully do have a motivation? If your not completely sure what that is right now, maybe because of hurt and pain that has come into your life then find out what it is. Will it probably change through the years? Maybe...probably but then again it might not. I personally have come to a realization that many of my motivations will always be the same like loving God as he loved me. But I also realize that life has a way of making you reevaluate what or who motivates you. My wife Cindy who passed away still motivates me every day, but not in the same way as she did while she was here. Do I want her to be proud of who I am and how I raise my girls. Absolutely...but can she motivate me with a smile, kind word or a kick in the pants when I need it. No...now it's very different. So by me acknowledging this I can say with confidence that someone or something might take that place in the future? No guarantee of that but it is human nature to seek out new meaning and motivation to help keep us focused on this journey of life.
I pray each of you have this motivation and if your not sure right now what that motivation is then go out and find a reason.

Has technology hijacked our patience?

2011-08-03T11:12:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks and have mentioned to some of my friends how amazing it is to live in this digital age. We have so many resources at our fingertips. Yes it is a double edged sword with practically anything we might want at our fingertips, but none the less we have so much information available within seconds that it is truly astonishing how fare technology has come. With text, facebook and so many other tools we can reach out to so many people with one click of the mouse or with pushing the send button on our phones. I was figuring the other day that because of facebook and text I had saved time and energy. I had increased the amount of people praying for my family by a fa-nominal amount that truly blows the mind. Most of these people I now personally or through other friends but many were total and complete strangers to me but because of a name and reason they prayed for my family. Some are friends that I had not seen or spoken to for over 25 years. Truly mind boggling to say the least. Is that awesome or what?
Anyway my point is this.. back when I was dating many moons ago I thought I had no patience. I hated the fact that I had to wait a day or even an hour to talk to someone, especially my girlfriend. I craved that interaction so much it hurt sometimes. Now look at us today? If we don't get an immediate response from a text or email we start thinking something must be wrong! We have been trained to expect immediate responses thus we are even more impatient than ever! But on the other hand we can get up to date information on what just happened two seconds earlier. Would I chose to go back? Probably not... I too have a craving for immediate human contact. I think that's part of what makes us human in the first place. I also believe that these tools are great for spreading God's word if used in a loving and compassionate way. Let's pray we have the patience to use these resources for God's glory and not just our own satisfaction. Peace

Lewis Family Update 7-13-2011

2011-08-02T11:48:00.001-07:00

Lewis Family Update

7-13-2011

Hello Everyone,

Happy belated Memorial Day and Independence Day! Hope everyone is having a great summer and enduring the summer heat.

I wanted to give you all a quick update on how we are doing. First let me say thank you to everyone that is a part of my life. It has been awesome to have so many people there for my family. I have recently added new friends to that list of caring people in my life. All of you are fantastic people that God has put in my life for a reason. That reason could be for prayer, motivation or even second opinions on raising my girls. Whatever God is using you for in my life, thank you!

The store has been a great success and the City of Mt Juliet TN has taken us under its wing and continues to astonish me with all the great things that have been happening. As of June 2011 we have contributed over $2000 to the Minnie Pearl Cancer Foundation. That is AMAZING!

The girls have been great. They both continue to grow and mature into amazing young women. Emily starts high school and Jeannie starts middle school this new school year. It honestly overwhelms me sometimes but then I remember how well grounded they both are and focus on the bright future they both have. At 14 and 11 they both have life experiences that most kids their age don’t have. I believe God will use them for his plan in some great way one day.

As for me I have had to come to terms with many things lately. Counseling and the advice of great friends have really helped me on this journey. I cannot say what my future holds exactly but I can say new doors have been opened and will be opened and I trust God to put me where he wants me to be. The last four years have given me the deepest lows and the highest highs but in it all, my faith has seen me through. My family and friends have seen me through. You have seen me through.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds but I do know that all things happen for God’s good. My life is proof of that.

Please keep us in your prayers and I will continue to keep you updated on our lives.

Thank You,

Mark

My life from January 2009 until February 2011

2011-08-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Let me first say I am very sorry this is such a long post, but I wanted to take the opportunity to get everyone up to date with my journey.
Thanks
Mark

Sent: Friday, January 23, 2009 4:34 PM
Subject: Cindy Lewis Update 2009

Where do I start?

I wish each of you a Happy New year and I pray that God's influence in your life outweighs any hardships or discouragements you might have. As the song goes "I never promised you a rose garden" and neither did God.

It seems like years ago since I last wrote to you about Cindy and how she was doing. It is amazing how much things can change in less than a year. Even the list of people this email is going out to has changed dramatically. New caring and amazing people have entered our life since last I wrote.

About seven weeks ago Cindy received some blood work results taken at a three month checkup. The test indicated that here C125 tumor marker test showed some elevated numbers so Dr. Williams scheduled a PET scan to make sure nothing new had developed. We waited through Christmas to find out what if anything had shown up in the test. At that time all that the doctors could see was what looked like an enlarge lymph node next to her left renal artery which is close to her left kidney and her aorta. This raised a red flag and the doctor felt it would be best to do surgery to remove the lymph node and do a biopsy to make sure nothing more was there. On January 8th Cindy had the surgery and the doctors found a three inch tumor that was part of the lymph node. The tumor was removed and a frozen section determined it was cancer. Cindy spent three days on the hospital recovering from the surgery. She has been at home recovering for what will be a minimum four to six weeks.

We went for her first checkup Wednesday of this week. Dr. Williams sat down with us to talk about the pathologist results and to answer any questions we would have. She is very detailed and we both appreciate this. The pathologist results showed that the cancer most likely came back from cancer cells that were left over from Cindy's ovarian cancer. Based on what Dr. Williams said they found many dead cancer cells from the last chemo treatments but even if you kill 99.9% there is always a chance that the one cell that is left will multiply. The best news was that they only found the one tumor. Many times patients who previously had ovarian cancer will develop multiply tumors at one time. As before it is stage two cancer. This is good news because it has not advanced since the first time.

Now for the not so fun part, as if the other was fun. Cindy will begin chemo treatments next Wednesday 1/28. She will be on a six session schedule which will last approximately 18 weeks. On Wednesday she will start with a Carboplatin treatment then the following Wednesday she will have a Gemzar treatment followed by a Neulasta shot on Friday. The time period between each session will be 21 days.

Now more than ever we ask for your prayers as Cindy and our family work to get through this. I have stated this over and over in the past but it still rings true. God has surrounded us with everything we need to get through this. The fact that we have went down this road before helps us to focus on what we have to do to make it this time. Cindy more than anyone else can already see the goal line and is amazingly prepared for what is to come. This in turn is helping me to prepare for the bumps that stand in our way. As we pray each night for God's strength and direction I pray that each of you find something in your life worth praying for. It could be patience, love, contentment, peace. Mine happens to be my family and my wife's health. God loves us and he wants us to turn everything over to him in the good times and in the not so good times. He has not forsaken me and will not give me or you more than we can bear.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. I will let you know how Cindy is doing as we take this journey together.

Mark

Cindy Lewis Update 2/16/09
by Mark Lewis on Monday, February 16, 2009 at 3:19pm

Hello again to everyone and Happy Belated Valentines Day!
I hope you let the ones you love know it and will continue to show them that love everyday.

Boy a lot has gone on since I last wrote to you about Cindy. She made it through her for session of treatments and on Wednesday she will start the second session. The first session hit her a bit harder than we expected. She has a great attitude and is working to stay as active as her body will allow.

For the last two weeks our family has shared the same illness, like a family should! Cindy was not left out and as weak as she has been this did not help. We are all finally over the illness and are working on finishing up our antibiotics. YUM! I personally am thankful we all got sick after the first treatment instead of later down the road. Her body might be able to fight it off as well as it did early on in the treatments.

Cindy and I both have Facebook accounts and have been in contact with friends and family. A really cool thing took place this last week. Cindy was informed that she now has people in Australia and Korea praying for her. Is that awesome or what! The more the better! We have great friends and family surrounding us and God’s loving and nurturing hand always seems to pat us on the head and let us know he is there in control. He has made Cindy’s courage grow abundantly. This has helped mine to also grow.

I want to take this time to say thank you to both my daughters Emily 11, and Jeannie 9. They are both fantastic young ladies. Emily has had to grow up a little faster than her Mom and I would have planned. She is amazing! She is smart and intelligent. She is beautiful and compassionate with talent that she doesn’t even realize yet. I did not have the pressures she has when I was 12. I was busy blowing up JI Joes and such at that age. Jeannie is another precious girl and even at 9 you can see the hurt in her eyes when she worries about her Mommy. Most of the time she is fancy free as a 9 year old should be but at times she too feels the pressure of what we are going through. Please keep Emily and Jeannie in your prayers as they help Mom and Dad.

We feel the prayers going out to God for us and appreciate each and every one of you for what you mean in our lives.

Mark

Cindy Lewis Update 3/25/09
by Mark Lewis on Wednesday, March 25, 2009 at 1:26pm

Hello Again,
Sorry it’s taken me so long to give you a new update. Life has been busy and full of new and unexpected turns. Let me first say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to write encouraging notes and offered up prayers for Cindy and our family. Not a day goes by that I don’t get a phone call or an email letting me know that we are in someone’s thoughts and prayers. It is truly awesome to see and feel the presence of God in our lives. I pray he is working in your life also.

Cindy finished her third set of treatments last week. This means she is half way to the finish line. This is wonderful news and we thank God he helped her get to this point. I’m sure Cindy would agree that being halfway through is great but it is sometimes hard to not look at this with the old glass is halfway empty attitude. As I have shared with so many of you in the past weeks it is hard knowing ahead of time the pain and agony you have to get ready to put yourself through over and over. It’s like someone just broke your nose several weeks back and you have started to heal and then you go back to that person and say will you break my nose again so I will get better….. So is the nature of chemo and any other cancer treatment. Because Cindy is at the halfway point she has to have a scan done to make sure everything still looks good. This is normal but not without its anxiety. Please be praying for her as we wait for the results from the scans.

Have you ever felt like God put you in a place because he wanted you to learn from someone else’s actions? I have… I want to take a minute to share with you how God is encouraging me in my time of stress. In the past two weeks a friend has had to deal with a family situation that many people would simply run from. Most would throw in the towel and let someone else deal with the aftermath. Without giving many facts this friend has had to carry a burden and lead by example through what I would consider an overwhelming situation of heartache and stress. He has accomplished this with patience, love, character and with a great attitude. Most of us know that our actions say so much about who we are and what we believe. I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to my friend for giving me hope in what can sometimes seem like a hopeless situation. We all have people in our lives that do extraordinary things each and every day. Sometimes they don’t even realize what they are doing to build someone up. Make sure you let them know the impact they have had in your life. Strive to be an example to everyone you come in contact with. You never know whose life you will touch or how it might affect someone for years to come.

At this time when so many people are worried about the economy their jobs and what might happen tomorrow let each of us stop and reflect on the big picture. Do I have what I need for today?I do.........Thank you for letting me share my life and as always please continue to hold my family up in your prayers and thoughts. God listens and he shows each of us his love if we will receive and accept it.

Mark

Cindy Lewis Update 5/4/09
by Mark Lewis on Monday, May 4, 2009 at 8:40pm

Hello,

It has been right at six weeks since I last wrote to you about Cindy. In that time she has completed her fourth and fifth session of chemo treatment. This is great news since she only has one session of treatments to go through. She actually has this week off from any treatments. This will allow her to start feeling a little more normal before she starts up again next week. This last month has been harder than usual because of some initial results we received and pain that she has been having. In my last letter I mentioned that Cindy would be having a PET scan at her midway point to make sure nothing new had developed. This scan showed some areas on her liver that the doctor was concerned about. After more tests and scans it was determined that the spots were not cancer. Thank God. I'm sure you can all sympathize with the stress and anxiety we have been going through while waiting on all the tests results. Not long after this Cindy started developing some back problems. At first we were not sure if her back pain was related to the cancer. In my 17 years with Cindy I have never seen her in so much pain as she had with this back problem. After scans were taken they determined it to be a bulging disk (L5). This was not a new injury but an old injury that flared up after 18 years. The fact that Cindy has had to rest so much during the chemo treatments has contributed to this. Sometimes we don’t realize how important our ability to get around is for our bodies overall health. One thing leads to another and soon you have this big snowball. The doctors have her on a steroid and some inflammation meds along with pain killers to help her get through this and the chemo. We are very excited about the fact that she only has the one session to go. We are both looking forward to her health getting better in the very near future. As always pray, pray, pray. She is doing great considering all the bumps in the road. I believe this comes from the help that you give us each day with your prayers.

I want to take this time to thank all the woman who have made a difference in my life. There have been many but I want to recognize four that are very special to me. First of course is my mom who is a caring and loving woman. My ability to consoling others in a time of crisis is a gift my mom has given me. She is an inspiration to me and many others that she has come in contact with. I love her for this. Growing up in Arkansas and Alabama my other moms were, Hester Brown, Jane Simmons and Sharon Cherry. All three ladies were examples of loving Christian ladies who gave me attention, advice, friendship and spiritual guidance. Each one contributed to who I am today. I want to say thank you and I love you to them all.

Hester and Jane are both fighting cancer. My heart hurts knowing the pain their family is going through. God gave me these great ladies so that I could also make it through my trials in life. They are part of my strength and stability. Even in their time of trial they encourage me. Please add them and their families to your prayer list.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mom’s out there. I hope each of you has a great Mother’s Day and to everyone who has a mom let her know she's loved. To those who have lost their Mom give all the love she gave you to everyone you come in contact with. Remember all the great times you had and work daily to be an inspiration like she was.

God is awesome, he is loving and he said he would never leave us as long as we put our trust in him. He has a plan that we sometimes can't understand but we are promised a home with him if we trust him. Thank you again for your ear. It helps me to share my thoughts and I hope it can in some way encourage you to look around and see what God has given you.

Mark

Cindy Lewis Update 7/2/09
by Mark Lewis on Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 9:35pm

Hello,

I wanted to let you know what is going on in our lives right now. As many of you know from my last email Cindy was close to finishing her last chemo treatment. As usual she had to have a C scan done not long after finishing that treatment. We did not get the news from the C scan that we had hoped for. The scan showed several places on her liver so the Dr had a PET scan run and they found four small cancer spots and a small tumor on her colon. As you can imagine we are very concerned about this. Dr Williams recommended that Cindy start another round of chemo as soon as possible. She recommended that we use Doxil for this next round. Doxil is commonly used for ovarian cancer that is metastatic. For those of you who do not know metastatic is when your cancer has spread from its original place of origin. Doxil also has its on side effects like hand foot syndrome which causes the palms and soles of you hands and feet to turn red and very sensitive to pain. Cindy would not be able to spend time out in the sun or even rub her hands together because of the irritation this can cause. Another side effect is the possibility of heart failure. While this is very rare is still needs consideration. The doctor will be scheduling Cindy to have some tests done on her heart to make sure she is healthy enough before starting the chemo.

We decided to seek another opinion before starting this next round and sat down with a leading Dr at the Sarah Canon Cancer Research Institute. It was good to here from him that Dr Williams was treating Cindy with the same medicines her would have been using. While this gave me peace of mind that we were doing what could be done it also served as a reminder of how limited we are with options for treatment. We hope to begin this next round in the next week or two.

One of the biggest problems is the pain Cindy is enduring each day and night. The tumors on her liver are causing considerable pain for her. She is taking pain medication as needed and it is needed a lot at this time. If you know Cindy then know how she has always shied away from medication of any type but this pain is so strong and consistent she has had no choice. Please pray for this to go away. The Doctor said that the chemo would probably help the pain and we pray this will be the case.

I would also like to remember some friends and family at this time. In my last email I had mentioned Jane Simmons who was fighting cancer. Jane went home to be with our savior. She will be missed but I praise God for his great plan of salvation and the time he gave me with her in my childhood. Also continue to remember Hester Brown who is also fighting ovarian cancer. She is also going through chemo. One of my best friends and involvement minister Josh Whitson was in a storm when he was pined under a fallen tree. He is currently in rehab and is on the road to recovery. I want to again thank God for watching over him and pray he will fully regain his strength. He and his wife Olsa are tremendous friends and steadfast followers of Christ.

This weekend most of us will stop to reflect on our great country and what it means to us. Let us also remember that what we have comes from God. For that reason cherish each moment and give thanks for what you have.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

Happy 4th everyone.

Mark

Cindy Lewis Update 9-4-09
by Mark Lewis on Friday, September 4, 2009 at 2:38pm

Hello All,

Since my last email Cindy has completed three chemo sessions using the medicine Doxil. This has been very different experience from prior chemos. She has been having very extreme side effects from day to day and they are always changing. Some of the side effects are lose of appetite, vomiting, sensitive palms and soles of her hands and foot and very extreme lose of energy. On top of this is the fact that we have had to adjust her pain meds weekly to battle her increasing pain from the liver tumors. With this increase have come many side effects from the pain meds like hallucinations, day mares, and of course the inability to stay awake most days. All this adds up to a very miserable day for Cindy. On her good days we are able to talk about life and our girls. She longs for the time she will be able to get back out in the yard and spend more time at church and visit with our family in Alabama and here in Tennessee.

Normally this time of year Cindy is very involved in our youth groups Bible Bowl. For those who do not know this is a yearly event where children age four to high school study a book of the Bible and compete while answering 100 questions on that book. This is right up Cindy’s ally. She loves to teach and study with the kids. It hurts her that she can not participate this year but we have had so many friends who have stepped up to teach. It is awesome to see how Cindys illness has touched so many hearts and given so many the courage to step up and serve God. I can not count the times people have told me that they have become closer to God since this has happened. None of us know what Gods plan is, but we can be assured that it is to further his word and add to his flock through each of our lives, actions and reactions.

This journey has not been easy. Some days are much harder than others. Hope is harder to have on many days and time wears you down. With that being said each day God adds more and more to our lives. He surrounds us with people who are able to restore our hope and pull us through. I have stated this so many times in the past, that God put you in my life for a reason. He knew I would need you and he knew you would be there for my family. God has helped me grow as a person and as his child. He has strengthened my relationship with Cindys family and my own family. He has helped Cindy strengthen her relationships and her faith. God is great!

It has been a long two months for us and I wanted to share our lives with you. As always we have the best family, friends and support that God could give us. Every day brings a flood of cards and support from so many. Our lives are touched daily by you and you have helped us to continue this journey. Gods love abounds in everything you do for us. Please continue to pray for Cindy to be completely healed.

Mark

Cindy Lewis Update 9/29/09
by Mark Lewis on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 at 11:10pm

Last Tuesday we had to put Cindy in hospice care. God has blessed us with a great facility and staff to help Cindy be comfortable and pain free. Each day brings more changes in Cindy's health the biggest being the change in her mental capacity. Some mornings she seems to recognize and understand her surroundings and that is when we have our best conversations. At that time she looks at me I can see Cindy and know that she understands me and she is able to show me the love that we have always shared. As the day progresses her ability to understand us and our ability to understand her requests is diminished and sometimes unrecognizable. It breaks my heart when I can not fulfill every need she has or communicate with her to her satisfaction. I pray daily that God gives her understanding and peace for each day. Physically she has deteriorated from her previous state of health. We look each day for more signs so that we can make sure her pain is minimal and and that here comfort is the best possible.

The Alive Hospice facility we are at is amazing. God could not have put us in a better place for Cindy or my family. The staff is compassionate and each person has an experience that they bring to the table to help us through this. Again I praise God for the way he has always put us where we needed to be.

My family is taken care of each day by my church family and friends. They are an inspiration to everyone we come in contact with. They have feed almost everyone that has been at this facility since we have been here. God has used them to inspire and reach out to so many families in need of help and compassion. I am proud and thankful for the great people I worship God with. How do people so many people make it through a crisis with out such a family?

I also want to thank the people that have been helping me each day with my two girls and with Cindy. Mom and Dad I love you and I am the man that I am because of your love and devotion. Each day you work in the background to make sure everyone else has what they need. You are both special people and I am honored to have you as parents. Nancy and Joyce you are both sent from God. I could not have asked for better friends and Cindy could not have better cousins. You have both helped ease my burden with your experience and attitude to help me how ever possible. Thank you for your love at this time. Mike, Terri, LeeLee, Jason, Lee Ann, Bill, Donna and Micheal, you have all been here for me and our relationship has grown through this trying time. Thank you for your love for Cindy, my girls and your support.

We are still on this journey and I am still asking for your prayers for peace for Cindy and our family. God has provided everything that we have needed and I know he will take care of Cindy and my girls. Cindy will have no pain and I will have the peace that She is in Gods arms surrounded by love and understanding.

Mark

10/4/09
It appears that Cindy's condition might be in the last days or hours. Please pray that her suffering will end soon.
In Christ

Mark

Lewis Family Update 11/12/09
by Mark Lewis on Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 2:41pm

Wow I'm not sure how to start?

As you know my wife and best friend Cindy passed away October 6th. I can say that I have never loved anyone as much as I loved and love Cindy. My heart is torn daily by grief, memories, and the hurt that this has come to me, my daughters and our family. I know time will help heal but I don't want to heal right now. I don't want to forget or get used to the idea that she is gone. I want to always have this remembrance of her and I want to make sure I never forget what she has meant to my life. I am a different man because of her love and example. My children are kind, loving and giving in part because of their Mom. My life will never be the same because of her influence and because she is not here beside me now. There could never be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister or friend. God gave her to me to make me a better person and he took her back. In the last month I have asked why thousands of times without answer. I can not say why he needed her more than me but I can say that many, many lives have been changed and made better by her presence. Her spirit will continue in our lives and her example will continue to help lead others to Christ. For that I thank God and give him the praise and the glory.

The girls have been fantastic. They too have the assurance that God is taking care of Cindy and that her life was lived for him. This gives my great peace knowing that they have that faith. We take each day one at a time. Sometimes each hour but we are making it through. As those of you know who have lost loved ones sometimes the smallest thing can bring on grief when you least expect it. Recently I received a letter from Cindy's oncology Doctor stating that she wanted to write off Cindy's outstanding balance because of Cindy's influence in her life and her respect and friendship for Cindy. I know this is an amazing gift from God for her to do this but I found myself mad and upset over it. Why? At that time in my grief I wanted to make sure I could in some crazy way hang on to everything that was part of our life for the last two years. Even if it meant paying off this balance. I know this sounds completely insane but so is the grieving process sometimes. Since then I have realized what a gift it was and have been able to thank Dr Williams and her staff for their love, friendship and help. I realized now that I could still keep them in my life and thus keep this part of Cindy in my life. I know time will help but the hurt continues anyway. I will continue to grieve for the loss of Cindy but I will not stop living for Christ and I will not let her death be mine or my childrens end. God has a reason for everything on this earth and I now have another reason to live for him with my story of my Wife and her courage, faith and determination. She was an amazing women and I give God the glory for letting me be in her life her on earth.

Since last month many things have changed in my life. I have had to reevaluate my perspective. I have only two goals at this time in my life. Continue to raise my two girls as servants of Christ and to live my life to Gods glory so that I also can be with Cindy for eternity. I will finish this job and will make Cindy and God proud.

Cindy and I had talked so many times about what we would love to be able to do for God in the coming years. We were always scared to take that first step because of so many factors like financial restraints and a growing family. In Cindy's last three months we talked about what the future might bring and how I would deal with the lose of her if it came to that. Cindy always reminded me to let people know what we went through and what God was doing for us. She would say "you have a story to tell and I know you will tell it". While Cindy was quick to correct me on my grammar, spelling or bad habits. She was also my biggest supporter when it came to growing in Christ. I love her and thank her for that encouragement. Because of her I will continue to grow and will continue to work for God and her memory.

As of November 18th I will be leaving my job of five years to start a new journey. My immediate plans are to work in any ministry that needs me whether that be the local ministries here in Nashville or were ever God calls. I have a story and I'm going to share that story as much as possible. Please pray for my family as we take this journey together.

To my family Emily and Jeannie, Mom and Dad, Bert and Mary Ann, Mike and Terri, Lee Ann and Bill, LeAnne and Jason, Donna and Michael. I love you and need each of you in my life more than ever before. To my church and friends I love you and thank you for your support, encouragement, gifts and prayers.

I wish everyone a great Thanksgiving and a Very Merry Christmas to all of you. I will keep you up to date on our lives.
Mark

Lewis Family Update 12-14-09
by Mark Lewis on Monday, December 14, 2009 at 11:17am

Hello Everyone and Merry Christmas!

I wanted to give you an update on how we are doing and what is new in our lives. First let me say thank you for all the emails, cards and Face book comments in the last two months. They have all been very appreciated and many have helped me get through some very tough days. It has been said that you find out who your friends are when things are not going good and I have been extremely blessed to have so many good and sincere friends. God has truly blessed me with each of you.

The girls and I went to Alabama to spend Thanksgiving with Cindy's family. We have done this for several years and I do not want this to change. We had a good time with everyone and they were all glad to see us. As bad as this has been for everyone it has truly helped us to grow closer. I am closer to Cindy's family now more than any time in the past. They have all grown with us and we try to help each other as we travel through this time in our lives. Each of us has been dealing with this in a different way. God works differently for each person. His plan is amazing and sometimes very complicated but he has been here with us every step of the way.

Normally I put up lights outside and Cindy would put up most of the decorations in the house for Christmas. Last Thursday I finally made myself put up our Christmas tree. The girls put on all the ornaments. This was a very hard step for me to take this year. If I didn't have the girls I might not have put up anything this year. Now that it is up I do feel somewhat better but it still hurts.

I have been able to spend most of my time doing things for the girls. This is hopefully helping them but is definitely helping me. My peace of mind has been helped by the fact that I can be there for them whenever they need me. I have more time to spend with them and more time to spend working for God with church projects, helping my parents, helping at my daughters schools or taking care of projects at home that have been put on hold for the last two years. I have started writing my daily thoughts and experiences in the hope of one day sharing them. I have also been able to spend more time with God in my daily devotions. I know God has a plan for me on the horizon.

It is still hard to believe that Cindy is not her beside me right now. I know her spirit is here but it is so surreal to think about. One day your wife of over 17 years is here and the next day she is not. The girls and I have taken each day as it comes and we each try to make it through and stay positive. The girls are doing much better than I am most of the time. It is amazing what children are able to do. I remember setting in my bosses office several months ago and talking about what my family was going through and what the doctors were saying. My boss Nick reminded me that the girls would do great and how kids always seem to be able to get through losses better than grown-ups. Nick you were right. The girls are doing really well. Do they have bad days? Yes, but they are able to move on much faster then I am. I thank God for this. I on the other hand have good days but most of the time each day seems to lead to a thought or memory from mine and Cindy's past. Some days I deal with it and move on and other times I find myself caught in a mild depression. I have been working on dealing with this time and moving on when possible but it can be tough to do when so much surrounds me that reminds me of an event or a happy or sad thought. I know this will get easier with time but it is still very difficult.

My resent Bible studies have been in Romans and Philippians. Both are writings from the apostle Paul. They have helped me keep focus on what I am here on earth to do for God. My favorite scripture from this study has to be Philippians 1:21 - "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain". To some this might seem morbid but it really isn't. While I am here on earth I am Gods chosen vessel. I have a job to do and God calls each of us to be doing something for him and his children here on earth. Therefore in everything I do and you do, it should be in Christ or as Christ would have done it. That being said if I work hard and do my best for Christ then dying is not sad or bad it is gain because of Gods promise to each of us that accept his son.

Thank you again for your love and compassion for my family. Please continue to show your love for your family and share God with them. Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

In Christ
Mark

Lewis Family Update 1-27-10
by Mark Lewis on Wednesday, January 27, 2010 at 8:21am

Good Morning,

I have been asked by several of you to give another update on how we are doing and I wanted to do that this morning. As always thank you for the encouragement, prayers and friendship you give me each day. It has become such a big part of my live and a blessing that I don't know what I would do without it.

First and foremost in my mind right now is my second mother and family friend Hester Brown. As you have read in my past emails Hester is also fighting ovarian cancer and has been having some complications. Please keep her along with Fred her husband and Janet her daughter in your prayers. They are very special people in my life and as I stated Hester has a very special place in my heart and life. I have so many friends that have had losses recently. Mel I have been praying daily for you and your family. Others in my family to pray for are my brother and sister-in-law Mike and Terri, and my bother-in-law Jason. They are all looking for jobs and trying to raise their families. Also please add my brother and sister-in-law Michael and Donna to your prayers. They are trying to sell a house while paying two mortgages. No stress huh! Our economy is affecting many in my family and many others in our nation right now.

I also want to give God praise for many great things that have been happening in my life and my families. My brother-in-law Bill has been receiving great news from his doctors about a complication from his diabetes. At one time the doctors wanted to amputate one of his toes but this has completely turned around due to prayer, a change in strategy and the perseverance of Bills wife and my sister-in-law Lee Ann. Way to go Lee Ann! One of my best friends and spiritual friend Josh is doing great after having a tree fall on him this last summer at Bible camp. He is still working through it but is doing great. Also Drew Lewis who is my cousins Toni's son has just returned home from a two years tour in Iran. Drew thank you for your service. I'm able to write emails like this because of you and those that came before you. Pray that Drew can cope with this new change in his life and we all can be there for him.

It is hard to believe that Cindy will have been gone four months as of February 6th. It is hard to explain what goes through my mind each day. Recently me and the girls have finished some projects. We purchased a corner curio for our living room. We have been adding Cindy's Precious Moments and some personal objects that we love to remember Cindy with. We also found an oak glass display cabinet that we have put flowers from Cindy's funeral in. Thank you Mom for helping us with this project. It ended up being very beautiful. I have attached a picture.

Most recently I have been traveling, antiquing, and doing work at church as needed. We just had a lock-in for our 3rd and 4th graders this last weekend. We all had a very fun time but I was quickly reminded just how old I've gotten. Staying up all night doesn't feel the same as it used to if you know what I mean! The kids loved it of course and that was what it was all about anyway. Coming up in February our teens are going to Gatlinburg for Winter fest. We are all looking forward to the trip and the spiritual renewal.

Sometimes I sit back and think about where I have been and where I am going and realize that God is not finished will me yet. The last three and a half months have been trying and also filled with new experiences that I treasure and wish Cindy was here to share with me. But she is..... In my thoughts, in my decisions, in my love, in my anger, in my praise to God and in my humility to God. She is always there. What an impact she has had in my life and what a blessing she was and is to me now more than ever. I do believe that a person can love and be loved. Lose that love and go on to love again but I also believe that you can be lucky enough to have your one true love and when that one true love is gone the love shared is enough to continue and persevere for the rest of life. Cindy gave me that love. I thank her and God each day for that gift.

Each day brings something new. Each day has its heartaches and its laughter. Each day brings new experiences and challenges. Each day God is walking with me to help get me through. He has never left or forsaken me. He has always given me what I need to make it through each day. Right now I am studying the Proverbs along with my church. Wisdom is the overall theme of Proverbs and we have been studying whether wisdom comes directly from God or from experiences. I say both. We must ask God for wisdom to be able to open our hearts to it and receive it. But we also have to take the experiences from life and lean on God during them so that our eyes are opened to his wisdom and compassion. It is up to each of use to ask for this wisdom and open our eyes to it.

Proverbs 10:13-14
13. Wisdom is found on the lips of him who has understanding, But a rod is for the back of him who is devoid of understanding.
14. Wise people store up knowledge, But the mouth of the foolish is near destruction.

Thank for your ear. You have no idea what each of you mean in my life and how much God has blessed me with you.
Thank You

Mark

Lewis Family Update 4-6-10
by Mark Lewis on Wednesday, April 7, 2010 at 3:14pm

Hello Everyone,

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to send another update but many things have taken place in the last two months. Today it has been six month since Cindy passed away. It still does not seem real. Some days I find myself expecting her to walk through the door at any time and most days I wait for her to call me by name or laugh at something I said or wrote. It's amazing how much you miss things that sometimes made you mad like her correcting my grammar. Oh how I wish she were here to do that now.

Two weeks ago I had major surgery on my back L1-L5. I have been putting off the surgery for several years. The last two years for obvious reasons and I also wanted to wait as long as possible because honestly back surgery has always scared me. I am recovering and getting better each day. I have to admit the first week was terrible. My surgery was supposed to be out patient one to two hours. It ended up taking over seven hours and a week in the hospital. When I first got home I thought I might have made one of the worst decisions in my life because I was hurting so bad. But as I said things are much better now. The surgery did not go without its problems. During surgery the doctors had to work to regulate my blood pressure. First it was to low then to high. In the process my right eye did not maintain enough oxygen and for now I have lost some of the sight in my right eye. The eye doctor said it is nerve damage and will hopefully return to normal in the next six months. If it doesn't they can not do much to improve it since it is a nerve problem not an eye problem. It does not hurt but is very aggravating. Please pray for my sight to come back and that my back will continue to heel. I know from talking to many of you about this that you are concerned about whether or not my sight comes back. I too am concerned but please understand that this will not change my outlook. This is just another bump in the road and I will come out on the other side and do fine.

Emily and Jeannie are doing great. They both are maintaining great grades in school. (Thank you Cindy for your smarts!) We are able to laugh with each other and we have been spending real quality time with each other on trips to see friends and relatives or by spending time together at home. Both girls have been so helpful to me since my surgery and have stepped up to take on responsibilities that have helped them grow and helped me let go of some things. God has truly blessed me with wonderful daughters.

My family has helped so much and in so many ways. My family in Alabama and in Tennessee have all went out of their way to help us in the lat months and since my surgery. My church family has also continued to be a big part of our lives. Again God continues to bless us with loving, compassionate and giving people. It is so awesome to have such a family!

We are looking forward to this summer. We have plans to go visit many relatives and spend time together. I am looking forward to being over my back surgery and working hard to improve my health for the future. I am very lucky to have some very inspirational people around me. Brian, Julie, Josh, Olsa, Holly, Aaron just to name a few you know how much each of you have inspired me to do better with my health and grow as a Christian. Thank you.

The girls and I have ben going to counseling at Alive Hospice where Cindy was taken care of before she passed away. I truly believe it is helping us coop with our lose and it has also helped me to focus on the hurt that I and so many other people go through. I believe this is another path that God is leading me down to help get me ready for the future. One thing that really stands out from these sessions is how important it is to listen. Most of the time people do not want an answer they just need someone to listen. If you know of someone that is hurting or struggling find away to sit down and listen and be honest and let them know that you don't have all the answers but you can be there for them. God again has blessed me with people who care for me and my daughters and who listen. They do not pretend to have all the answers or even understand what we are going through but they care enough to be there for us anyway.

I pray that everyone had a great Easter and that each of you celebrated the fact that our savior rose from the grave. Without this fact Christianity would be just another religion. With this fact it is the only religion that provides a path to salvation.

Thank you again for your emails, prayers and friendships.

In Christ
Mark

Why do you fight back? By Cindy Farley
by Mark Lewis on Wednesday, April 28, 2010 at 12:22pm

Below is an email I received earlier today from Cindy Farley who was one of my wife's co-workers.

Hi Mark,

I hope this email finds you and your family doing well. I hope your recovery from your recent back surgery is going well and that God has laid his healing hands upon you.

I wanted to share a speech with you. As you may remember, I live in Southern Kentucky and have been asked to give the Fight Back ceremony speech Friday night in my hometown. This will be my second time in having this honor. Last year, I spoke about cancer and cancer research but this year, I was struggling with inspiration. It hit me one night as I lay trying to come up with an idea.

Cindy and your family inspired me so much during your battle against her disease and so I based my speech on that inspiration. I say “your” battle as it involved your family as a whole. I wanted to share the speech with you. I hope that I can represent your family well in the speech. Please let me know if there are things that you prefer I didn’t share. I definitely do not want to offend you in anyway.

In Christian love,
Cindy

Why do you fight back?

"Each of us is out here tonight because we know someone who has been affected by cancer. Some are here to remember those that have lost their battle. Some are here to celebrate those that have won the battle. The battles may be won or lost….but the war isn’t over, which is why we are all here to fight back.

As many of you may know, I work in cancer research everyday……..and sometimes, yes, it’s “just my job”. But more times than not – it’s my personal way of fighting back against a disease that has affected more people that I care to count. I want to share with you a story of someone in my life that lost her battle a few months back….and how it inspired me to keep fighting!

Cindy was in her 30s when she was diagnosed with cancer a few years back. Cindy was one of those people that you couldn’t help but love. She was happily married and had two young and beautiful daughters. A few weeks prior to her death, we were informed by her husband that Cindy was in the hospital and there were no further options. A group of us went to visit Cindy. Through the many tears that day, we managed to laugh…until Cindy suddenly broke down and said, “I am not ready. I don’t know how to do this”.

On October 6th, 2009, Cindy lost her battle. As I sat in the funeral home with other co-workers and “work family” I watched as her husband greeted each person entering and accepted condolences with a smile and a “Thank You – she’s not suffering anymore and we are so happy about that.” I thought to myself, “Wow – I can’t believe he is up there with a smile on his face – how is he holding up like that?” I, meanwhile, can’t hold it together as I watch Cindy’s photographs play on the television screens. Then, when I think I finally have my self calmed down – the youngest daughter comes in and sits down beside her uncle – who immediately tells her she feels likes she is running a fever – her aunt, a nurse confirms that she is “burning up”. At that moment, I had to leave – because all I could think was “Poor child…and her mom isn’t here. When a child is sick – who do they typically cling to – their mother. Hers is gone”. I worried about the girls, their dad, and oh – what is he going to do when they become teenagers. How are they handling it so well? It absolutely crushed me….and inspired me all at the same.

Little did I know that Cindy and her husband had been very transparent with what was going on. They had talked from her diagnosis on about what could happen. They planned for the future. The girls knew that plans were in place. They talked openly about the future and what it could hold and how Cindy would handle it if she were here. The whole family was very strong in their faith….and in their commitment to each other.

A few weeks after Cindy’s death, her husband emailed us . He spoke of how he and Cindy were the best of friends and how his heart was torn apart daily by grief, memories and the hurt that has come to him and his family. He talked about how he knew time will help heal…but that he didn’t want to heal at that time. He didn’t want to forget or get used to the idea of her being gone. He wanted to be angry and mad…..

Mostly, he spoke of how his life had been changed forever due to the influence of Cindy in his life. He spoke of how his children were kind, loving, and giving because of their mother. To him, there could never be a better wife, daughter, mother, sister or friend. He stated that he would not let her death be his or his daughters end. In the final paragraph, he told how he and Cindy spoke about how he would deal with his loss when the time came, Cindy would say "you have a story to tell and I know you will tell it". Lastly – he spoke of how he knew many, many lives had been changed and made better by her presence. I can attest that my life had been changed by her presence.

I tell that story because I find such inspiration from those that have suffered losses and yet they are some of the biggest warriors in the war. When I think of Cindy, I think of her family and their commitment to continue to fight the war, although their favorite soldier lost the battle. I will always think of the way she inspired all of us and reminded her co-workers that “it’s not just a job”.

Tonight, in my challenge to you, I ask that each of you draw inspiration from that soldier you know –and make your pledge to continue to fight back. "

Cindy,
This is a great gift to my family and Cindy's memory. As I have said many times I have prayed that God would show me the reasons why Cindy and my family had to go through this thing called cancer. Your speech, your passion and the inspiration that you received from our battle helps me to understand. I pray that everyone that reads this will be inspired to fight the battle and to encourage those around you to do the same.
Thank You
Love
Mark, Emily and Jeannie

Lewis Family Update 5-31-10
by Mark Lewis on Sunday, May 30, 2010 at 11:58pm

Remembered

Have you ever emptied your emotions, I mean completely emptied them only to realize that the hurt and fear had not left? Have you ever sat up in the middle of the night only to realize that you are alone, scared and confused not sure who you are and where you’re going, weak from the emotional drain? I do. I tell you this not to scare you or torment you or even make you hurt but I want you to know how much Cindy meant to me. I am so blessed to have had her as my wife my friend and my best motivator. It hurts me to know that at times I under appreciated her while she was here. Many of you have read as I tried to share my hurt and pain during a very emotional Mother’s Day. Your encouragement has helped and continues to motivate me to make it through each day. Believe it or not a few months back I even thought I might have this grief under control. I was wrong and oh how much it still hurts.

I tell you this because many of you feel and do the same as I do. You are not alone. As I sit here writing this to you tears flow and thoughts race through my head. Thoughts of love, memories of sharing, times of uncontrolled love for my wife and for the life we shared together. These are God’s gifts. They are gifts to all of us who have lost something that we cherished. The problem most of us have is the fact that we first have to accept the gift. We have to open our eyes to it and realize what we had and what we still have. Grief, anger and stress are like a fog in our lives. They keep us from seeing the complete gift that God so much wants us to accept and enjoy. I pray that what ever fog is in your life will be lifted so that you also can receive the blessed gifts that God has for you. You only have to see his ultimate gift of his son to truly understand how much he loves each of us and how he wants us to put our complete trust in him in what ever trial we go through.

This Monday is a special time for our country. A time to remember those that have gave so much, even their life. Monday the 31st is also Cindy’s birthday. She also gave so much during her life. So much that I can hardly make it through a day without reflecting on what she has meant to me and what her life did to change mine. It hurts to think about but is still so true, she is here. She is in my daughters, in my thoughts, my decisions, my emotions. She is in the love that I give others and the love they give me. I pray that we all share the love that has been given to us. It’s never too late to start and it can be very contagious. Do it for those that have come before you and for those that will come after you.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is Love.

Love, what better way to be remembered on Memorial Day 2010?

Yours in Christ

Mark

Lewis Family Update 2/25/2011
by Mark Lewis on Friday, February 25, 2011 at 2:08pm

Wow it’s been quite some time since I last posted a Lewis update. This has been due to many things going on in my life. Not the least is the opening of the new bookstore Cindy Lou’s. I basically went from not having much that I had to do each day to having more than I could handle some times. Don’t get me wrong I love what I do now and that means so much but it just proves that none of us know what’s around the corner. And if you think you do just wait because your world will change before you know it.
Again I have to stress like I do in each letter just how blessed I am with everyone that surrounds me. This comes from my family, Church, Facebook friends and now my customers at the store. You would not believe how much the people of Mount Juliet TN have come out to support our store and cause. I here of people sharing our story to strangers when they the person telling the story were just strangers three months ago. God is awesome!
Both my girls seem to be doing well right now. They always blow me away with how grounded they are and continue to do well in school. Emily enters high school next year and Jeannie middle school. (la, la,la,la!!!) That’s me pretending they aren’t growing up! They were blessed to have a great example in Cindy and some many great people helping me now as they grow.
I basically just wanted to tell each of you that we are doing well. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Cindy and stop to reflect on what the next day will bring without her being here beside me. Has it gotten easier? Some days it seems to be but other times I still fight to keep it all together. I guess it might always be this way? I know God is watching over us and I also know that because of the trials I have been through I have had so many new people come into my life. Some have come into my life so that I can help lift them up and others to help lift me up.
My hope for each of you is that you open your eyes and look for a reason any reason to help others. Even the small things can bring hope to some one’s life. Look at me I sell used books and now have opportunities every day to interact with people in a positive way. Don’t get me wrong not everyone wants something positive in their life but most do. I pray God continues to bless me with this gift to share some hope with others even when things seem hopeless. Never give up and never settle for what this world can offer. Make your own positive path in life and never let your situation make it for you. I know this is harder to do than it sounds but that doesn’t mean we give up trying.
Thank you for your love, your words of encouragement and your prayers on my families behalf.
Mark

What we make of each day…

2011-07-30T10:46:00.001-07:00

What we make of each day… good or bad is a picture for those around us to see. It often shows what we really believe and where our heart and soul reside.

Lewis Family Update 8-20-10

2010-08-19T21:39:00.001-07:00

Lewis Family Update 8-20-10

Hello Everyone,

It's been over two months since my last letter and as usual much has changed and much has stayed the same. Emily and Jeannie have both started back to school. Emily starts 8th grade and Jeannie 5th. They are both doing great as usual but not without first week jitters and the familiar thoughts of where did my summer vacation go? They both continue to amaze me with their resilience and attitude after what they have been through and are going through. Cindy did an amazing job getting them ready for the future and instilling in them the ability to survive and cope.

Our summer was full of much traveling. This was more for me than for the girls but I tried to make sure they had fun along the way. Now that I look back on this summer I have to admit that it was me trying to run away from the elephant standing right in front of me. I was and still do a lot of what I do to avoid being at home or facing my fears and my insecurities after losing Cindy. I have pretty much accepted this fact and try not to beat myself up about these insecurities but they still linger and haunt me. They might always sadden me but this also reminds me of the precious love and bond Cindy and I had. While it is obvious I would not have chosen for Cindy to have left this world, I would have chosen over and over again to have spent my life with her how ever long that might have been. Our outcome could never change the blessing I received from Cindy or the hope I have with my girls.

I made it through another milestone on July 18th as it would have been our 18th wedding anniversary. I tried to stay busy with the girls and honestly tried to not associate the day with the anniversary to much. It seemed to help? As always afterward I felt guilty not knowing if I had done the right thing. Was I trying to forget too soon or at the minimum not give it the attention it deserved? I think everyone has to work through change in their own way and I did the best I knew to do at this point. One of the things I keep clinging to is that I was able to say everything I wanted to say to Cindy before she left. What a blessing it was now that I look back. I also think about the fact that even if I hadn't known she would be dying I still was fortunate to have been able to tell her and show her my love in the past on so many occasions. Yes, I had the chance but she knew no matter what came our way. Another blessing that most of us don't think about but we can be confident in.

So what is happening in the Lewis family right now? Back several months ago while we were on one of our worldwide trips the girls and I happened upon a chain of of bookstores in south Georgia named Gottwals Books. They had three stores within a 30 miles radius of where we were staying and we decided to go to all three stores before heading home. I was very impressed by the stores and the whole concept. These were not your usual hole in the wall used book stores. They were clean, bright, organized and seemed to be well managed. At our third and last stop we met this young, fresh out of college looking man who was the co-owner of all three stores. I picked his brain a little and we went on our way. For the next two months the visit to his stores ate at me to the point that I called him up and started asking many more questions. Now eight months later I am only about two months from opening my own book store here in Mt Juliet. WOW!! How things change and how God has truly guided and lead me to my next opportunity. I still have much work to do with this new venture but I'm very excited about the future and my future with my daughters and the city of Mt Juliet. I personally see this as a way for me to get closer to people and share my story with them in a laid back way. Our plan is to promote cancer research, primarily ovarian cancer, and give 5% of all sales to the Minnie Pearl Foundation here in Nashville. The name will be "Cindy Lou's Books" and we hope to carry on the memory of Cindy and promote her love of reading and her love of helping others. I ask you pray for our success and not just in book sales but in reaching others through relationships and sharing information. As you can imagine my girls are very excited and I am very humbled that God has lead me to this point. I pray daily for wisdom as we move forward with this new road in our lives.

I wanted to share the names of people that mean so much to my life as they struggle right now. Ron Milam who is a long time church friend. Ron has a brain tumor that has come back after many years. He and his wife Pam are special people to me and I pray that his next surgery gives the results that they are all looking for right now. I have mentioned in past letters Hester Brown who lives in Texas. Hester is also fighting ovarian cancer and is going through chemo treatments. Hester is my second mom and I continue to pray for God to step in and cure her of this cancer. The father of my friend Jonathan Hortan is fighting throat cancer. I also want to remember Cindy's great Aunt Mae Bell who just had heart surgery and is recovering. Please remember them all as they fight the good fight for their health.

I also want to mention the great things that have been happening. My brother Mike who has been out of work for several months just started a great job down in Texas. My brother-in-law Jason who is working again after many months out of work. It's not a perfect job but I am proud that he is willing to work until a better job comes along. Elizabeth the wife of my nephew Scott is in school working on her teaching degree. My sister LeAnne who has went back to school to recently to further her education and have a better future. All good things come from God and to God be the glory!

I say this over and over but I thank each of you for letting me share my life. You are all my outlet for venting and for sharing the great things God has done and is continuing to do in my life. I pray your eyes are always open so that you too can see God's blessing in your life.

In Christ
Mark

Lewis Family Update 4-4-10

2010-04-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I'm sorry it has taken me so long to send another update but many things have taken place in the last two months. Today it has been six month since Cindy passed away. It still does not seem real. Some days I find myself expecting her to walk through the door at any time and most days I wait for her to call me by name or laugh at something I said or wrote. It's amazing how much you miss things that sometimes made you mad like her correcting my grammar. Oh how I wish she were here to do that now.

Two weeks ago I had major surgery on my back L1-L5. I have been putting off the surgery for several years. The last two years for obvious reasons and I also wanted to wait as long as possible because honestly back surgery has always scared me. I am recovering and getting better each day. I have to admit the first week was terrible. My surgery was supposed to be out patient one to two hours. It ended up taking over seven hours and a week in the hospital. When I first got home I thought I might have made one of the worst decisions in my life because I was hurting so bad. But as I said things are much better now. The surgery did not go without its problems. During surgery the doctors had to work to regulate my blood pressure. First it was to low then to high. In the process my right eye did not maintain enough oxygen and for now I have lost some of the sight in my right eye. The eye doctor said it is nerve damage and will hopefully return to normal in the next six months. If it doesn't they can not do much to improve it since it is a nerve problem not an eye problem. It does not hurt but is very aggravating. Please pray for my sight to come back and that my back will continue to heel. I know from talking to many of you about this that you are concerned about whether or not my sight comes back. I too am concerned but please understand that this will not change my outlook. This is just another bump in the road and I will come out on the other side and do fine.

Emily and Jeannie are doing great. They both are maintaining great grades in school. (Thank you Cindy for your smarts!) We are able to laugh with each other and we have been spending real quality time with each other on trips to see friends and relatives or by spending time together at home. Both girls have been so helpful to me since my surgery and have stepped up to take on responsibilities that have helped them grow and helped me let go of some things. God has truly blessed me with wonderful daughters.

My family has helped so much and in so many ways. My family in Alabama and in Tennessee have all went out of their way to help us in the lat months and since my surgery. My church family has also continued to be a big part of our lives. Again God continues to bless us with loving, compassionate and giving people. It is so awesome to have such a family!

We are looking forward to this summer. We have plans to go visit many relatives and spend time together. I am looking forward to being over my back surgery and working hard to improve my health for the future. I am very lucky to have some very inspirational people around me. Brian, Julie, Josh, Olsa, Holly, Aaron just to name a few you know how much each of you have inspired me to do better with my health and grow as a Christian. Thank you.

The girls and I have ben going to counseling at Alive Hospice where Cindy was taken care of before she passed away. I truly believe it is helping us coop with our lose and it has also helped me to focus on the hurt that I and so many other people go through. I believe this is another path that God is leading me down to help get me ready for the future. One thing that really stands out from these sessions is how important it is to listen. Most of the time people do not want an answer they just need someone to listen. If you know of someone that is hurting or struggling find away to sit down and listen and be honest and let them know that you don't have all the answers but you can be there for them. God again has blessed me with people who care for me and my daughters and who listen. They do not pretend to have all the answers or even understand what we are going through but they care enough to be there for us anyway.

I pray that everyone had a great Easter and that each of you celebrated the fact that our savior rose from the grave. Without this fact Christianity would be just another religion. With this fact it is the only religion that provides a path to salvation.

Thank you again for your emails, prayers and friendships.

In Christ
Mark

My Thoughts: 25 Years of Memories

2009-02-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

My Thoughts: 25 Years of Memories

25 Years of Memories

2009-02-10T16:05:00.000-08:00

Just recently I created a Facebook account. I was told it was Myspace for grown-ups and I have to say I agree. It turns out this was probably one of the best things I could have done at this time in my life. In the last two weeks I have found old friends and met new friends that normal circumstances would not have created. It has been awesome to talk to friends from almost 25 years ago.

Sometimes you look back at your childhood and it almost seems like a distant dream. Like it might not ever have happened. After contacting and being contacted by so many old fiends you start to think back on your past and actually work at it by getting out school annuals or old pictures by reading notes from friends and trying to remember a certain comment and why it was made. For example when I lived in Arkansas my nickname was "Teddy". This is another long story for a later time but back then that was my name. Even my teachers had me on the roll as Teddy. Since I moved away after my junior year I have not once been called Teddy. How weird is that? For four years you're Teddy Lewis and a week later you're Mark Lewis again?
I thought about telling my new classmates in Alabama my nickname but then they would ask why? Honestly I was not up to telling each and every one of them the whole story. Especially after being the new kid on campus.

Ironically at the same time I started my Facebook I was also in the process of looking through my families old pictures for a presentation I was creating for my parents 50th Anniversary party. This process also made me work to think back to my childhood and all the experiences that came with it. Some were still fresh in my mind just like some high school memories and some I had to really work hard to remember.

Some of you might be thinking where is Mark "Teddy" going with this? God has put each of us where we are for a reason. Sometimes getting there does make since or it might seem unfair what we had to go through to get there but the fact is he has a plain. God knew I needed to be thinking about the past whether back in high school or growing up with my family. He knew that this would help build me up and make my hope and faith stronger. He knew it would bring me joy, laughter and some sadness.

For those of you who do not know my wife Cindy is an ovarian cancer survivor and is currently going through chemo treatments for another tumor that was recently removed. I'm not telling this for pity but to let you know how God has worked in my life. God has put each of you in my life at this time because he knew I needed you. NO PRESSURE..... God has always seen my family through the toughest times. Sometimes he uses perfect strangers and in this case past friendships to motivate each of us to persevere and carry on with our journey of life. He uses others that surround us to help keep us focused and maintain the hope of another day. Believe me when I say hope is very powerful. Hope is what increases our faith.

To all my family, friends and newly found friends I want to say thank you. Remember we all can affect those we come in contact with each and every day. We can all change the world with just one kind word, one memory, one friendship or one relationship at a time.

In Christ
Mark

Gods inspiration comes from many places

2009-01-06T08:12:00.000-08:00

As some of you know or don't know 2008 was pretty rough for my family. Cindy my wife of over 16 years was in the middle of chemo treatments for ovarian cancer. She finished her treatments in April and has truly been an inspiration to me and many others she has been in contact with. She received a clean bill of health six months later and has been dealing with all the side effects of the chemo. She is an amazing woman.
Three weeks ago Cindy had another checkup and we received news that some of her blood tests numbers were elevated. Cindy had a PET scan and they found a small mass near a lymph node in her abdomen. This Thursday she will have surgery to remove the lymph node and do a biopsy. She will be out from work 4-6 weeks. As you can imagine we are anxious and scared about what lays ahead. Let me assure you that from our last experience we know that God will provide and take care of us. He has never left our side and has always given us what we need for each situation.

For example this last Sunday while worshiping God he gave us a renewed spirit when we were partaking of the Lord's Supper. One of our fairly new members was presiding over the table for the first time. He was well spoken, humble and genuinely emotional about this new experience. Most men this day and time do all that they can to hold back any public signs of emotion which I myself have tried to do on occasion. This man touched my heart and many others with his passion and sincerity. He helped convey to each of us what a privilege Christ had given us by telling us to "do this in remembrance of me". He commented on how many times he had sat in the audience and casually partaken of the table but not really experienced what it meant to him. I was overtaken by his thoughtfulness and insight on what it means to reflect on what Christ gave to us with his ultimate sacrifice.

Now what does this have to do with what my family is currently going through? Just as Christ asked me to remember him I also have to take each day, each moment with my family and reflect on what they have given me and what God has given to me. I'm sure we all can remember our first love the intensity the longing for that one person that we wanted more than anything in the world. How often do we now feel that way? If not very often than we need to do just as my brother in Christ did last Sunday and change our prospective. We need to look at each other and each situation from a different perspective and realize the gift God has for us. We need to cherish and praise God daily for that gift.

Always remember God gives us the answers through his word and if we open our eyes he also shows us daily what we need. During this trying time in my families life I want to thank Brian for keeping my eyes open.

How quickly things can change

2008-12-30T08:18:00.000-08:00

If you don't already now this about me I am a big, BIG Crimson Tide fan. I live in Tennessee... go figure. Alabama has had a stellar 12-1 season and the upcoming Sugar Bowl against Utah on 1/2/09. Now I am the first to say that I have done some very dumb and regretful things in my life especially when I was younger but I can't imagine what Andre Smith is now thinking? If you don't know or even don't care here is the lowdown. Andre Smith is without question one of the most talented offensive linemen to ever come out of Alabama or most collages for that matter. He is a currently a junior and talk has circulated that he might go pro early this next year.
This is very understandable seeing that he looks like he is ready to go to the next level with his talent. But as so many times in life one needs to look at the whole picture. Andre has had a great run at Alabama and has been highly revered by his fans and by winning such prestige’s awards as the Outland Trophy this year. Andre was about to play in his last collage game in the Sugar Bowl and would have probably went down in Alabama history as the best lineman ever. How quickly things can change. Yesterday it was announced by Coach Nick Saban that Andre was suspended and would not play in his final collage game. Why? It seems that Andre and his family who would certainly be moving up in the 2009 tax brackets after his NFL career started had also started talking to agents about that career. This is a big NO NO and Alabama could least afford that type of NO NO. Especially after already coming off the resent NCAA probation. Everyone is looking at Alabama with a microscope especially now that they have rebounded so quickly under Saban's leadership. So Saban did what he had to do and suspended Smith for the Sugar Bowl and subsequently any chance that Smith would be returning next year. Thank you Coach Saban for doing the right thing. Now in the small picture this is not a big deal. Alabama will make it through the bowl game probably with no problems. Even if it is a game changing decision Alabama will have no worse than a 12-2 season. Go BAMA! But in the big picture how will this change Andre Smith's life. He probably will not go down as Alabama’s best lineman now. He probably want be revered by fans for decades to come. He will be remembered for not being able to wait 5 days before taking that next step to the NFL. Will it be worth it? I'm sure the ridicules money he will be receiving in the NFL will help him get over it but what do each of us really want to leave behind? Money or a legacy?

What a difference a year makes...

2008-12-29T13:02:00.000-08:00

First of all I'm not much of a blogger so forgive the bad English and lost train of thought.

Wow, where do I start? Compared to last year this years Christmas was much more relaxing. Last year at this time my wife was in the middle of chemo treatments for ovarian cancer. I was a ball of nerves covered with psoriasis. And my thoughts and actions were all in a state of panic, shock or all the above. I'm not sure if everyone could tell at the time but my life was very tense. Cindy (my wife) is doing great. Her beautiful hair is growing in curly. God's free perm as some have stated. It is true that the possibility of the cancer coming back is always in the back of your mind and it probably will always be that way but we now know that whatever happens we will be in it together. We are both stronger for it and we both can now help others deal with it better than ever before.

So much has happened since last year. First history has been made with the election of our first black American president. Let me first say I am very proud to be an American. I did not vote for our newly elected president but I do hope he does a good job. I also will pray for him as I have for all the presidents that have served in my lifetime. I do not agree with most of his stances but still hold out hope that he will make good decisions for our country.

Since last year our economy has taken a down turn that some like to characterize as the next great depression. Let me first say that I did not live through the great depression but know many people that have and this is not a depression... but what if it was? Is that the end of the world? In some ways I think it might actually be a good thing if it happens. Don't get me wrong I don't want to see people starving or homeless but I think a good kick in the pants might help this country set its priorities back to where they need to be. America has an unreal expectation of what we really need to be happy. I know that the people I have talked to who went through the great depression were poor sometimes hungry but also happy. Yes happy because they still had family, God and hope for a better day. Our kids.. my kids and myself included don't know what wanting really is. We have never really needed anything in our whole lives accept family, God and hope but look at what we have. Where does it stop? My parents can sell their house and move in with me if needed. Hey the Walton’s made it work! I love my family and would never want to see them in need for anything but I can say that after last years struggles my family can make it through anything that comes our way.